Secondary school: independence and encouragement

Rapid growth and hormonal storms change the perception of themselves and relations with others. This revolution in the life of a teenager also affects study. And the passion for modern technologies, new forms of communication and leisure is another reason for conflicts with parents.

To teach to learn

The transition to grade 5 is accompanied by a change in the entire school class. “There are much more teachers now, some tasks should be done for tomorrow, others for the next week,” recalls the family psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya. – Each teacher has his own style, it becomes much more complicated. And many children are lost. The best way to help them is to teach to act in new circumstances “. Together you can draw up a plan of classes, put “reminders” in the phone, leaving the child responsibility for the performance of lessons ”. A clear daily routine helps at this age. It is useful to teach a son or daughter to engage in certain hours, and it is better to sit down in front of a TV or computer. “Carefully monitor the study, but not insist on high results – such a difficult task is facing parents,” says child psychologist Elena Morozova. – If you expect great successes from the schoolboy of this age, this can extinguish the desire to learn in him “. It is important that he understands: knowledge changes him himself, give him confidence, it becomes more interesting to communicate with him.

Raise self -esteem

Modern schoolchildren despair too quickly. They graze before the slightest obstacles, refusing to make efforts if the result is not guaranteed. This happens in many ways because children do not trust themselves and are very worried about their incompetence. “Give the teenager to answer for how he is studying,” says Tamara Gordeeva. – Let it act yourself. Competence is born only in activity, and quite complicated, which can be a challenge for a child “. Help him

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understand his own sensations and desires, emphasize the strengths of character. And do not make tragedy from mistakes and failures. It is useful for us to remember that school points is an assessment of today’s knowledge of the child, but not himself as a person. In addition, during the puberty, the interests of the child are displaced. In addition to studying, he begins to interest him who is friends with whom, who said and what, who betrayed whom. “He discovers the world of communication with peers,” explains Lyudmila Petranovskaya, “and interest in studying for some period decreases, especially among boys”.

Weaken the control

Younger teenagers especially need confident, fair and authoritative parents. “From adults, they expect the approval of each of their work, setting the completed tasks, respect for their independence,” says Lyudmila Petranovskaya. Gradually weaken the control, but be careful about what the child lives. Parents who and in grade 7–8 tightly control homework can provoke anxiety and self -doubt in children. “For a teenager, the interest of adults is important in what is happening to him. Not to marks, but to the learning process, to his new interests and hobbies, ”says Tamara Gordeeva. – Stop asking: “What are your grades?”But discuss what you read, talk about what interests you, ask the teenager to explain what he is better than you, listen to him when you discuss important family affairs. In a word, take it seriously “. Your interest, support, and not control motivates adolescents to study. “They begin to understand that they go to school not to please their parents,” explains Elena Morozova. “But if you repeat:“ You need good grades, not me, ”this will cause protest and resistance”.

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